ignitionremix:

it’s a beautiful day to give me money

  • Job interviewer: So what do you does?
  • Me: I'm a hoe. A strippa hoe

Can I get “If you were my girlfriend…” messages?

(Source: everything--burns)

nutella:

gettin real tired of my own bullshit

(Source: reinapepiada)

odins-one-eyed-fuck:

Life hack: date a guy who’s tall enough to always be looking at you from the same angle you take selfies from

Trick or tr(eat me out) 🎃

(Source: electroteen)

Okay so I’m super excited for the new Peter Pan movie but like why is Tiger Lily being played by a white actress when Tiger Lily is Native American?

bullied:

too hot for ugly people too ugly for hot people

(Source: bullied)

haemus:

The girl you just called hot? That me